PGHK #47 Chao Ua (臭话)

Jul 3, 2006 | Podcast | 43 comments

Guests: Siao Ting Tong & Ah Bi

Welcome to all the NanYang newspaper readers! I was just told by a listener and friend that got a mention in ????.

This topic has been in the works for a long time. We have finally finished this show and ready for all of you. If you are easily offended by curse words, you might want to skip this episodes.
We discuss curse words or chao ua in a very scholastic way. But we couldn’t stop ourselves from laughing. Please feel free to tell us what we have missed. Add to the list in the forum.

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  1. GoNK

    Oh yes~!!!Pengn Jin A~!!
    Chao Ua Song (???)
    ?link to the song suspended until legality confirmed?

  2. Miku John

    GoNK, do you have permission to share the file?
    If they made this song to be shared on the internet, then it’s fine. But if it is from their album, and you’re sharing it illegally, then I wouldn’t want to the link to be here.
    I will temporarily remove your comment, until you confirm with me the legality of sharing this song.
    We want the artiste to appear on this show, and illegally sharing the song would not be the best way of inviting them, don’t you think?

  3. Ang Ku Kueh

    Special Thanks to Proffesor of Penang Chao Ua Institute:
    John, Xiao Ding Dong & Ah Bi. I salute you all ar… haha, I very enjoy the show,
    Wa chio kah beh tahah, chio kah beh lao jio… : D

    Kan Ni Ne : was actually “Kan Ni Nia” (Fxxk your Mother) lar…

    Li Li La Kong Kong : is it small “Lan Chiao” Fxxk with big “Chee Bye”
    is it like “Jit Pun”(Japan) LanChiao Kan “Oh Lang” (negro) Chee Bye ler… hehe

    I laugh untill crazy when John describe about the Bao Hu (Abalone)
    Hey John don’t forget also the Bao Hu Jiap (Abalone juice) haha… : D
    For those who Bao Hu boh jiap, use KY lar… haha : D
    Aiyoh…Wa siao liao… : D

  4. guleng C , you know who

    as a ?? we need to make those chao ua become like a ??, for instant, “pa si mak zor keh” ?????, sounds nice and sharp, and the level of destruction is 7/10……

    ” lu bor bai hor gau kar ka nua” ???????? level of destruction 8/10

    ok thats it for today’s ” Alternative way for greetings”

    and correction: Kan Ni Neh is Fuck Your’s.

    Chao ua is a piece of art…
    🙂 melodically poisons- by Andy Warhol .

  5. guleng C you know who

    As we know, chinese practice “tai chi” , the concept of that martial art is actually absorb the energy of ur enermy and use it as a defence and “push” it back to ur opponent.
    Same as Chao Ua, we need to reflex the”energy” back to the opponent.

    For boys and girls:
    If someboy scold you CIBAI, try this technique:
    Opponent: chibai!
    You: nor teh bak, lu lanchiao pasikat?: (????????????
    For girls, whose opponent is a girl:
    Opponent: Chibai!
    You: bo lu ah neh chao (?????????

    for boys whose opponent is a girl:
    Oppenent: Chibai!
    you: ah boey tao, tao liao sin eh pun boh lu ah neh chao! (???, ??????????????

    level of destruction 6/10

    end of lesson one “tai chi for alternative greetings”

  6. Ang Ku Kueh

    WahSeh…. Guleng C, si peh hiong ar lu…
    haha… like it : ) keep posting : D

  7. Miku John

    Guleng C will be back for Chao Ua counter attack!

  8. GoNK

    HI, JOhn I never get the permission, But one thing is the album My friend bought it in Petaling Street(Chee Chiong Kai) The Album has 18 songs. Most of the song has the artist name but only this ????LanJIao” does not have artist name. Besides that, the album also does not have company name or the contact no .

    So, that impossible can get the permission from the artist. That also impossible to invite the artist to join the Recording because that nobody know who they are.:P

    Hee oki la I know that is copyright thr. hee.. oki thank you john.

  9. Miku John

    If the group and/or the singers are unknown, and if the file doesn’t have an original source that anyone can identify, then the file is not illegal to share. If the file owns by someone, then, it is illegal. If anyone else can confirm that this file is NOT copyrighted, then, I’ll open up the file.

  10. Xiamen Ah Long

    Ah John, you no heart. Actually that song has been shared in my website for dunno how long already.

  11. GoNK

    haha… err i Duno If the song is sang by ah Penang Ah beng and Ah Seng thn I think they never go to copyrigth it kua.:P
    hee.. or anyone from Penang you know the Singers for this song? hee..:P
    and hor this kind of song in malaysia I dun think can get a copyright also la.:P
    play in front of the censor board, Lu Kua Hamik Lancia..~ heee.. kidding.:D~!!

  12. Penangknia

    How to say make love in Hokkien in a more polite way:
    ua ai ka lu kun
    ? ? ? ? ?

    Persons who use lim1pek3 ?? (your father) use as 1st person pronounce is actually trying to say “I’m your father since. I fucked/screwed your mother”, though a lot of people who use it doesn’t really know how serious “limpek” could means.

    phu1boh1knia = ??? originally means motherfucker
    kan3nin3ne4 = [my own interpretation] fuck ahnene (kilinna)
    pak3si4mak3siao4 ??????
    lam3pa1 / lan3pa1 = ?? (oriinally might have been lanpa, lampa derived later due to influence of bilabial p sound in pa.)
    pho3lam3pa1 = ??? i.e. hold your balls (testicles) = suck up, cock sucker equivalent
    lam3pa1pho3lam / LPPL = ???? never quite sure what it means, but sounds like “balls holding balls”, can’t imagine it. May be it was made up because it sounds funny and has no more meaning than ???. May be it means an extreme form of sucking up.
    iou3lam3pa1 ??? = someone who is alway ?? iou3kha1, ???????????
    tua3lam3pa1 ??? = ?? tua3tseng4
    bo3lam3pa1 ??? = ??? bo3tna1gui4 , timid

    tua3tseng4 = ??
    boh3tseng4 = ??
    cao3tseng4 = ??
    tsap3tseng4 = ??
    pnaei1tseng4 = ?? i.e. bad breed
    tsap3tseng4gao1sneh = ????

    The formal way of saying penis in Chinese languages is ???but it is rarely used in conversation even in northen Chinese dialects since the word [?]??+? is commonly used (also in Cantonese). In Hokkien (lan3) and Hakka(lin3) ? is used instead.

    keong1kan3 = ??(?)
    kiam1kan3 = ??(?)
    kiang1kan3 = as AhBee said ????
    kiam1kan3 & kiang1kan3 might actually be the same thing or might have both been derived independently.
    kam3lan3 = ?? suck-cock
    kan1kae1 = ?? i.e. fuck a chicken

    ???kan(1)na(1)sai(4) = ????????, like shit
    ???kan(1)na(1)gui(3) = like ghost

    siao2 actually means semen, ?? (character representation unable to be typed)
    cha1siao2 = ?X
    chap1siao2 =
    hao3siao2 = ?X
    lu3siao2/lu3siao3siao2 = ?X
    suan3siao2 = ?X
    suaei3siao2 = ?X
    siao3siao2 = ?X
    kap3siao2 = ?X
    kapster I think is a hybrid word, kap from Hokkien kapsiao, ster from English suffix -ster

    Ah John mentioned a variant of pog-pog – pheg-pheg, I heard it in Hakka before, which might have used to be popular in Hokkien too.

    Making a long caoua sentence:
    phu1nia1boh4 + cao4ci3bai1 = phu1nia1boh4eh3cao4ci3bai1
    OR kan1nin1na4eh3cao4ci3bai1

    ah-bu = ??? ah-mak = ??. I think ah-mak is more popular in Penang due to Malay influence, since in Malay emak is close.
    kukuciao, in Hong Kong I’ve heard ku1-ku1 which refers to the same thing.

    I think pu3ki1 is of Malay origin while ci3bai is of Hokkien origin.

    In addition to iao1siu3te1mia3 ????? I think I have another one, though not sure what it really means: jip1toh3.

  13. sampuna

    hahaha, kamsiah to the ‘chau ua’ production team! it’s a really enlightening discussion.

    Ya lah, chau au got lots of categories,like ‘leh’ (curse), ‘meh’ (scold) or ‘kong song’ (say for fun).

    Never thought this taboo subject can appear in this blog!

    Gua chio kah pua sih (laughed till half dead) after listening to your show. Felt so close to home (working in Johor now)

  14. shua Hu

    keong1kan3 = ?? – keong keong lia ki kan (??????
    bu toh (???= nice way to called “butuh”

    sometime we say, aun neh ho pu ah (??????) = nice way we called, aun neh ho ???cha tio ho lang lia ke “?? liao.

  15. Vincent Tan

    Adoi ! this topic so popular ler, maybe there will be a part 2 show or something 🙂

  16. Penangknia

    tua3ki1 ?? = big-cock. I’ve heard people scolding those who like foreigner (red-hair) by asking a rethorical question: Ang3mo2?A3mo2)tua3ki1a3!?

  17. kemikelx

    Wahlau ler.. I damn like this show ler!!!

  18. hiao poh CHI

    ho liao

  19. gonkia

    Kam3 Kiu2 = ??
    Kia3 Beh4 ?? = ??

  20. Ang Ku Kueh

    I think I had missed out:

    Phak Pao = Make love
    Phak Chui Cheng / Phak Pui Khee = Masturbate (Men)
    Laa Chik = kissing
    OOi Chee Bye = “Korek” Chi Bai = Masturbate (Women)
    Bua Tao Hu = Lesbian Sex
    Bua Kiam (Sword) = Gay Sex
    Kan Kha Ch’ng = Anal Sex
    Laa Bao Hu / Sok Bao Hu = Lick “Chee Bai”

    Oh Shit I god Damn dirty early the morning : )

  21. T-bac

    i think Kan Ni Neh , is more on taiwanese = Kan Li Nia ( XX ur mom )

  22. Miku John

    Can all of you say “Popular”!

    This is by far the most popular subject. I am sure we are able to make another show out of this.
    But in the mean time, isn’t it liberating to be able to talk about things that you are unable to hear on TV or radio?
    Yay to podcasting, and thanks to Siao Ting Tong and Ah Bi for their input, and also to all of you participating by listening and sharing your comments here!

  23. 2 green apple

    i wan to share as well….

    i give u mandarin oren
    u give me oren

    in hokkien is
    wah hoh lu kam
    lu hoh wa chiam

    which mean
    i give u to suck
    u give me to fuck


  24. hiao lok

    do motre chao ua episode

  25. Sua Pah Kao

    Hi greenapple, you phrase i used to said it in chinese new year…. really very funny….hahahaha….
    i got two more to share:
    Lu Eh Mak – Cangkerik – Chaomehkong
    ??? – ??(Cangkerik) – ???

    WaPaLu – KutChitBakLit – PheuahNuahKinNuah – ThohCheet – TaiLaoNuahh…
    ??? – ?? ?? – ?? ?? – ?? – ??”??”

  26. Sua Pah Kao

    those two phrase need to say it in very fast speed….then it will sound very “Geng”….hehehe….

  27. 2 green apple

    still got 1 more….

    lu cibai wu lanjiao koh boh..?

    which mean

    recently you got someone to take care on u?

    in hokkien is

    lu ci pan wu lang chao koh boh….


  28. ckeone

    I think Lili La Kongkong means small cock doing wide loose apung, means NO SHIOK~~

    pertama kali kat sini, although have been listening from the start, almost 1 year liao, John Ong, do something bout anniversary la~

  29. alex

    hehe… you guys remind me of my younger days !!!

  30. Miku John

    We are crazy! And we have a lot of fun doing this. Thank you for checking us out.

  31. agentpink

    mercedes big n small eye refers to the size of light..the size of the light on the car..the girl,i salute her..hehe..very keng..

  32. cibailang

    kanne.. kao cibai leh.. LPPL means same … coz both are same thing.. so same loh.. but not extremely scold ppl lanpa.. i got one similiar site also, currently under construction.. ^^

    greetings from

  33. KeongKan

    Miku John ah…can tok again tis show ah..
    so syok…tis show really keong kan lo…hehe~!~!

  34. Miku John

    KeongKan, I will be doing another show called “Chao Ua 2”. So, get youself ready.
    Pay attention in the forum for the next recording time. I have scheduled something for September. Sometime in October or November I will be doing the second Chao Ua show. Get ready!

  35. anonymous

    Kah pai ghee nah……I’m still a kid….shld have put a warnaing there . vr funny

  36. keong

    Miku John damn pondan and always pretend to laugh, the conversation not natural and damn boring. Overall rating this as asshole conversation.

  37. Miku John

    who forced you to listen? Why do you care if I’m a pondan? You are entitled to your own opinion about the show. You don’t have to like it. Asshole conversation or not, that’s up to you.
    BTW, if you think that calling someone a pondan as a threat, then you got the wrong person. I am a proud and out gay man. Take your own insecurity and bigotry back to your own home. Thank you please!

  38. JungleAhBoi

    I love this… is really fun… I really love siao ting tong.. u r awsome!!!! Hey John, I am newly join this.. if u have this topic again i really wish to join!!

  39. HokkienChar

    Damn funny……listen again and again and again….. never felt bored after listening. By the way Puki is Malay word if you guys/gals out there have a dictionary even better dewan bahasa you can find it….

  40. siao kia

    Now I still dunno what the word kap siao means too..
    siao ting tong is very keng…
    and miku’s laughing voice is funny too

  41. siao kia

    my sch got one teacher called tua lam pah too!

  42. Miku John

    siao kia, thank you for checking out the older episodes.

  43. Ah Boon

    kam siah lu…hope to learn more from you brother…
    can i have ur email? to chat with u sometimes? =D

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